I would like to take this time to say I am very sorry that we had to file a federal complaint against Thomas Papanier (Tom Papania) and others. This entire situation has caused much financial and emotional harm, as well as a loss of reputation that can be tied directly to the support of TOM .

Rock and LSYF/YOA have stood alone against an overwhelming array of Christian men and organizations; battling to remove supporting web pages and feature stories. And, it was not until we actually filed that we received some favor.

It was not long ago that I was lost. Attempting to discover purpose and love and truth consumed every second of my being.  For 40 years a battle against evil raged; my participation a fact. My quest to find love and purpose overrode everything. From what little family I had, to those whom attempted to love me. I would live as if the next day would not come. Death was a friend for I had come to know death in a way that I expected death's offerings and continued unbound by anything or anyone.

 

What a life I led and while it led me. Tasting defeat and victory in a world most would be hard pressed to journey for a moment let alone a lifetime, I fought to remain at the top. A top overridden with anger and burnt bridges. I needed NO ONE! For I had lived my way and no one could say otherwise. Where ever I went I made it a point to take control. Where I could not take control, I destroyed. Using every means at my disposal ... I was it. I lived in a world where fear ruled and only conning-charisma softened that fear.  

 

Then, one day, I just simply gave up. I had been watching the 700 Club and listening to Dobson and others on the radio at the very time I was a Wise Guy. I gave up everything I held as dear and important, no matter whether they were or not to others.God entered my life for good--pun intended. I made a decision to change my life by altering my quest in about 30 minutes. And, as everything that I had done before, I gave it my all. Abandoning my business and all whom were part of my "crew", I began my journey rushing towards the light.

 

The light that had originally guided my decision had been several of the Prominent Evangelists that regularly appeared either in person, or by the voices of those whom appeared through Christian radio.

 

These men and woman were motivators of Jesus Christ. I heard and saw how Jesus through the works and ministering of the Holy Gospel would and could deliver that love and peace that had consumed my wants from the day I was born a cripple. And through those dark and bleak days when I desperately wanted to be like all the other kids, to that time of my first steps and the time the braces were removed from my legs.. and through the murder of my father at 8 and into the mean streets on NY as a lonely child desperately seeking friends and love and over the course of seven years where I fought to survive on the streets of our nation....

 

Yes, that long hard journey that would continue through my adult hood and into the twilight of the lose of my mother  and the alienation of my children.. Yes, when I shouted to the world that I was HERE! And threatened and intimidated and conned and sought drugs and alcohol and sex and allowed no one a single seconds breath to say I was not.

 

Yes, these men and women and others convinced me and I purchased it lock stock and barrel.. I became and took another lonely journey to meet this God whom had stood by me for 40 years. Often rescuing me based upon some far off lonely mother's prayers. Yes, for many had prayed and tried and attempted and plead.. yet I had denied and continued until those men and woman made it their business to allow me to see the light.

 

And so, my new journey had begun. I was set to do what ever it took to gain that there salvation that was being offered. And though I was told it was free, I could not accept it. Not unless I DEMONSTRATED that I was ready and that I would pursue this Salvation as I had pursued everything I ever did in my life.

 

I would first master the pen and write a book. This was no small feat. I had but 5 years of schooling and 18 months of  reform school "education". I had started my story in 1986. I had conned my way into Miami Dade Community College on the GI bill. And when the college discovered that I could not write, I was offered special training and had won.

 

But to complete the book I would have to do it while moving from a penthouse to a 1967 mobile home with plastic tarps to keep out the wet of winter and summer. Yet I would take on  the enemy with duration and desperation. I would sell what I had and put that money into good. I knew that my works were not required, yet I knew that for me my own salvation would require doing as God wished. Yes, and that would take many years of teaching and doing so that GOOD would become integrated with my being. What a battle it would be.

 

And so, after a year of completing my book as I traveled on a 1976 Honda motorcycle preaching to youth -- even in the dead of winter -- I was ready.

And so, I began to contact all those men and women whose faces and voices filled the air waves with love and smiles and kind words. I sent full manuscripts of my life story. My life that is, from birth through 17. I included my family history. I also informed these men and women that I had written the story in a secular way so as to reach those whom were lost. I wrote how and about my life. From my beginnings to my endings. I told them that I had been blessed with communication and recruiting skills. I informed them that I had business skills and that all  I required was assistance with direction. I wanted to find an individual whom would guide my new journey. I asked for someone whom would be there so that my headlong, direct, never give ground demeanor would be guided and softened and educated AS I went about my new obligations

Well, after mailing hundreds of manuscripts and letters, I received letters from Jan and Pat that were positive. Many others simply sent material informing me how to join their "partners" programs and make donations. Most simply ignored me.

Yet, with Pat's letter I was encouraged and Pat said that my life was important to youth. He said my story was a good demonstration of how God had worked in my life. Yet no one stepped up to the plate to guide me. But I was satisfied that I could do what was expected of my new life.

Well, within a few years of hard, selfless work with no income, I made headway. I had been conducting training's for youth. From mechanics and wood work to Eco systems and bonsai, I continued to try my own direction. Yet I believed I was not doing what God wanted me to. A few attempts at attending local churches, Christian Radio and a youth center and I knew that I was still not there. Something was missing. I knew that God saw me as a "sparkplug", yet I also knew that though I was plugging,  I simply was not sparking. What was the necessary missing piece to my puzzlement?

Well, one day a believer stepped up and offered the funds to edit and produce the book. With this blessings I formed the Lighthouse Sanctuary Youth Foundation as a means to further my youth ministry intentions while praying for that DIRECTION from God . 

And then it happened. I awoke in the middle of the night and my 386 computer was calling me. It was 3 am and the computer was on. I had been writing some poetry before I went to bed and when I looked at the screen, in red, were the words "whomsoever Believeth in me, the works I do shall he do also,,,"//

I woke my wife up and we both were in tears.. Yes, tears. For me tears were as alien as a walk on the moon. Only three times could I truly say that tears were a part of my emotions. My father had reinforced the fact that tears were not part of a man of respect. He had demonstrated that through physical force on a few occasions. Occasions that would ingrain this to such a degree, that when tears were at the gates I would find another way to release that emotion.. usually violence fit just fine..

And so, with this message on my screen, and I attempting some rational reasoning.. I began our first web page.. the rest is history, for the web, along with our web mobile, and the fact we could now witness and offer life skills to the world of youth, well, it was God whom directed this new ministry.

And so, again, I would begin to build a power house Jesus Christ web ministry. This ministry would assist youth through many programs. We would sell our book to raise funds and never have to ask for a dime.. wow. God is Great!

With the web page in place, hosting and soon followed and the web mobile became another avenue to earn the cash necessary for us to continue our endeavor and grow.

Well, when the book was published we saw that it would be good. That all would work. Our first signings turned out great. I never gave it a thought. And then Pat Robertson sent a crew to Atlanta to film my story about our ministry and the book and I thought, YES! For our agenda was a good agenda. Our program was a great program. All my life's experiences had taught me just about everything that was bad.. Yes.. I had experienced everything that our youth were experiencing. My story was not one of a single event, like drug addiction, or abuse, or anything in a separate context, my life was of everything. And, with the vast experience in so many fields of endeavor and business, I had both the tools and the education to cross many cultures and circumstances and fields and people. So, with a few good "plugs" from these great men and Walla! We would soon be DUPLICATING a program to the world. For our program was not one we developed for us alone. I wanted the program to be available to anyone whom wanted it. Forget the credit. But, a funny thing would happen along the way.

And so.. the CBN crew arrived and filmed and we went up and began the web page and soon discovered how great it would be and waited for the broadcast to occur.

While we waited, we continued and built our program on the web. And soon, we just kept on going even though the show did not occur. Yet the secular world was and had opened doors to us and we had great promotion. And though I had yet to see a dime towards feeding my own family, people stepped up to the plate and we were able to do great works regardless of support.Yet I began to have trouble with folks saying they heard of my story and that they had purchased tapes. At the time I just thought that someone with a similar story was also with the Lord. After all, I was not the only person..

Well, it was in the summer of 1998, July, that I first was met with the new storm. A storm I never expected to rise. I was conducting a free training in North Carolina when telling a story of when I was 15 and I took down a Mafia card game. I was telling the people how crazy I was, how the Devil had me fully. I was telling how, with two other young people whom I convinced to help, with an empty 38 revolver, I took down 30 men and made them strip before splitting with their cash. I told them how one kid would die, and how, with a gun to my head, contemplating suicide, I found myself at a church. I told how a priest intervened and how my first tears came like a raging storm. And my understanding at that moment that Jesus intervened.

Well, I was in the middle of the conclusion of the story when a youth pastor interrupted me and said he had purchased a tape of the identical story. I was flabbergasted to say the least. When asked, the pastor informed me the tape was of one Tom Papania. For the next two days I could not keep my mind on the training. I wanted to rush home to Atlanta and find out what was happening. The name Tom Papania was ringing bells like a four alarm fire. I KNEW the name.. I just KNEW this name. But, you have to understand, I had mailed HUNDREDS of copyright manuscripts to so many. And many of those sent to individuals were people recommended by others. I knew this name but could not place it until my wife reminded me of a Tom Papania that was recommend to us to call. I had called Tom and it was years before and I had sent him a copy of the manuscript. But, I could not find his number nor could I recall who had recommend him.

Well, after calling all around, I still could not locate him. No number, no ministry, no address. And so, I just kept on keeping on. Building, working 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. Yes, all through the balance of 1998, I just kept up the work and the preaching and the building. That is, until January 1999.

It was in Jan/Feb that I turned on the 700 Club and was devastated by what occurred. There in a seat opposite Pat Robertson was the missing Tom Papania. It was the first time I ever saw the man or heard his "testimony". He was telling his story. And as he told his story, I was further horrified. For entire paragraphs from my story seemed to make up large portions of Tom's witness. I cannot tell you how I felt. And, judging by the massive negative responses I received once I went public with my story, I doubt many of you could understand the terrible emotion and loss at knowing that the very life that was meant to deliver not just you, but others had been ripped from your very heart. And so, I just flipped out and was immediately writing and calling.

Now, recall, many of those now broadcasting KNEW of me. Had copies of writings, manuscripts and books. In fact, most had written me. We had been filmed by one prominent organization who now broadcast Tom, and had even had its Chairman featured and quoted on THE BACK OF THE BOOK and had sent all personal copies! Yet no one made any attempt to write or call.

And so, after a month of calls and getting no where, I published on the web. It took a few days before TOM CALLED me. We would have various conversations and Tom would agree to end his use of the material. In fact, he would say that he had made no money, that he had sold few tapes, and that he primarily conducted a youth ministry in the prisons.

We agreed that he would cease his writing and that was that. Tom sent a 5000.00 donation to LSYF and we went our separate ways. Tom had apologized and I thought it was done. In fact, I even went up and took down the page and replaced it with a page in favor of  Tom. But a week after Tom was selling the same tapes. And contrary to his swearing that he had not sold many tapes and that he operated a prison ministry, Tom was out telling "his" story to a church packed to the very roof. And then sold tapes and videos. I contacted Tom and he hung up on me.

I then began to contact EVERY CHRISTIAN LEADER I could. And nothing. Then I began an investigation and discovered HUNDREDS of pages promoting Tom.. and then I discovered that Tom got his true start from Fred Kelly of Landmark Church; a man whom was AT the Federal Trial od Tom Papania.

There were ministries who had received copies of manuscripts and the books, and even copies of the second release BEFORE TOM appeared on his show, yet promoted Tom anyway. And, when informed that they were broadcasting what amounted to a lie, they doubled their efforts.

Yes as we searched it became easy and simple to discover Tom was lying in his COMPLETE testimony. In fact, it was so easy to find this out we were amazed that the very men whom I had looked up to were allowing him to continue. In the face of e mails, packages sent with all particulars and phone calls, the support continued. My pleas were just ignored.

Well, it took a full year to finally file a Federal Complaint. And only AFTER this did the web pages and such begin to come down, even though we have proven tom to be both a liar and a thief, that his entire story is one of falsehood.

We ask you to go to youth of America and SEE and READ what we do for thousands of youth for free and with only 30,000 in donations in the past 5 years.. and know why we must fight this battle to its conclusion.

Now,  I am not talking about a non-Christian wanting to destroy our Kingdom, I am talking as a Christian who turned his life around and ONLY WANTS his new life with Christ BACK>> Simple.. what all of you told me this Christianity would be.. what your testimonies were supposed to prove.. that there FELLOWSHIP without lies and innuendo..

but no, many of you vilify instead of rectify and STAND UP FOR WHAT THE GOOD BOOK SAYS TO DO!

Many of you would rather rebuke me rather than the source of this The Enemy...

Yes, BROTHERS and SISTERS.. many single moms and hard working families who LOVE the Lord and KNOW that the Watchman MUST BE ON GUARD have stepped forward, I would like to end this without their sacrifice going any longer...

To end this, though we know that Tom alone sold hundreds of thousands of tapes and video's and was paid hundreds of thousands of dollars that he used for himself, we agreed at one time to a simple agreement that would not entail any further complaints if Tom simply removed the context of our book. Tom agreed and we ended it only to see him out there using the same and doing the same.

This was NEVER about money, but the forces arrayed against our ministry are overwhelming. They possess the media and the mind of many true Christians as well as the support of much in financial resource. This is a true David and Goliath with Pharisees of the modern temple..